It’s that time of year. School is out, and the kids seem to have grown up again while sleeping. At 5 foot 9, I am suddenly the shortest in the house. It feels like the world is passing us by. I might have taken a long blink because it feels like it all happened overnight. How is it that all but one has graduated high school? All but one drives and it’s only because he is not old enough yet; one more year to go. They all turned out to be incredible people, a real mix of the two of us; we did a good job. Now and then, we get a glimpse of their grandparent’s influences and remember the power and importance of those relationships. Those relationships ended sooner than expected for our kids but were influential in their young lives. The one thing they did was let the kids be themselves. If you want to dress like a pirate to go to the store, then let’s ensure you look like a pirate.  Let’s draw a beard on your face and get you an eye patch. If someone dislikes you, screw them; it’s their loss. And, of course, one of the most essential life lessons… ice cream is a food group. There is never a wrong time to eat ice cream, and of course, eat the outside edges of the ice cream tub first. How others see us is so often different than how we see ourselves. Right before the pandemic, I reconnected with friends from childhood, people I had not seen in so many years, literally over 25 years, to be honest.  These are friends I had beginning in grade 5 and lost contact with probably around grade 10 when I started to make some questionable decisions. I was a teenager and knew it all… that lasted through a few high schools and some alternative schools. Okay, so maybe into university also. It has been confirmed that it did not know as much as I thought. As I write about my life experiences and the struggles I endured throughout my adolescence and into young adulthood, I realize so few people were aware.  I struggled silently, acted out, and was so angry.  These emotions pushed me to make questionable choices in friends (or who I thought were friends) and engage in risky behaviours.  I did not ask for help but instead pushed people away.  As someone who now helps others and works in mental health, I often reflect on my life experiences and choices.  I still wonder why I kept silent and why didn’t I let people help me.  Why suffer in silence with a chip on my shoulder? This I now relate back to my ADHD. Reading social cues was not my strong suit, nor was reading a room.  I lacked a filter from my brain to my mouth, and crowds make me anxious. The latter two remain an issue. I sometimes wonder what others saw because they only remember the good when I speak to them.  I often tell people I support, “I wish you could see yourself as others do.”  Imagine if I had seen myself through the eyes of others. What this whole ramble is about is.

1.    See yourself through the eyes of others.

2.    Ask for help. Never suffer in silence.

3.    Own it. Be you. Be the pirate.

4.    Screw those who judge you; it is their loss.

5.    One Million and ONE… (my last post explains this one)

6.    Normal is boring.

LASTLY…ICE CREAM IS A FOOD GROUP (words of a very wise Nana)