One of the most un-used words in the English language is No! We seem afraid to say No! to people, especially children.  Imagine if their feelings got hurt.  Imagine if they had not gotten their way. According to them, I must confess I ruined my child’s life at an early age. I said No! They responded that I was mean and did not love them. However, it is the opposite.  I was saying No because I do love them. If I wanted them to grow up to be jerks, I would say yes, all the time. I wanted them to grow up knowing that the world is much larger than their needs. 

There is a negative connotation associated with the word No. I am still trying to figure out why. We live in a world where it is frowned upon when people are not agreeable. This leads to many people saying yes when they mean no. Critical thought is dying because of a fear of offending. Those with ADHD can sometimes struggle to say no, not because they do not want to but due to non-linear thoughts that can boggle the pro/con aspects of decisions. Impulsivity and emotional dysregulation are real things that can impact the ability to say no.  The problem is that ADHD individuals need to belong, which leads to yes when we want to say no.  Then we (I should say I) bail at the last minute and make people upset with me anyway, so I might as well say no from the start. This might help mitigate the low self-esteem we feel and the disappointment we cause others.

I recently came to realize that NO! is a complete sentence. There is no reason to explain.  No means just that. So, use it; use this powerful word that stands on its own. It is a word that commands respect and reinforces values.  It is a word that should not be feared and needs to be used when communicating with people of all ages.  

I have decided No! It is the most crucial word in the English language.  This word is essential in expressing our values, establishing boundaries and teaching others how we want to be treated and how to treat others.  It teaches valuable lessons to those we interact with.  Our children need to hear this word.  They need to learn the value of the word and its importance.

Be true to who you are.  Be honest with yourself and others.  Say No! In the end, it is what is best for everyone.