I wrote about friendships and my mom’s lifelong friends a while ago. I wrote about how lucky she was to have friends that lasted a lifetime, that came into her life around the time I was born and remained until her last breath; some were present at the time of her last breath. Those friends are priceless; those friends were her friends and confidants but also a massive part of my upbringing. 

A few standout friends filled my childhood memories; one lived near the Black Creek area of Toronto.  She had the best Greek food and sweets. She would sit with my mom, also known as “Auntie Jo-Ann” to her kids for hours talking with my mothers distinct laugh filling the house.

The other friend used to live in my grandparent’s lower duplex. They all knew each other from childhood. It always felt as if we were not at one house we were at the other; they and my mother were inseparable. They would talk and talk and talk over coffee, especially when we were younger.  It was like they never ran out of things to say to each other.

As a kid, I wasn’t allowed candy, cookies or pop. There was no fun food in our house.  But you know who did have fun food? My mom’s friends had it all: cases of pop stacked against the wall, candies and cookies. One house had Polish food, the other Greek; it was the best of both worlds because for a skinny little kid, I could eat.  They all used to joke that I had a ‘hollow leg”. My insatiable ADHD appetite and crazy metabolism left me looking imaciated and in a constant state of hunger.

I just found out my mom’s one best friend, who lived beneath my grandparents, passed suddenly. It feels unreal; this connection to my mother is also now gone.  Strangely, she passed this time of year because my mother also passed during the month of November and she and my mother loved Christmas. When I was a kid, she always tied these beautiful special Christmas cookies to the tree, or at least that is how I remember them, I have come to learn they are the Vortmans wreath cookies. The highlight of my childhood Christmas visits was that I could take a cookie off the tree. Every time I would visit my grandparents, I would sneak downstairs for treats, and her kids had an excellent bunk bed. Pop, candy cookies and a bunk bed, it was a place that only existed in my dreams.

This post is not ADHD-related but a reminder to cherish those close to you, tell them you love them, take care of each other and not take time for granted.  We always remember the first time but forget it leads to the last time. The first hello will always lead to the last goodbye, both are hard just differently.