What are these feelings? They are such a contradiction. Elated, terrified, excited, overwhelmed…all at once.  As most of you know, last week, I received an email I have been patiently waiting for, my offer of admission to the Ph.D. program at York.  When I was applying for my master’s, someone said the most challenging part of grad school was applying and then waiting.  I am hoping that is the case because although it is a rigorous process, I am guessing the Ph.D. program will give it a run for its money. 

                  The encouragement and support have been incredible.  I came home with flowers and a congratulations card.  The Netflix profile has been changed to Dr. Jmac. Everyone is congratulating me, even my kid’s friends; it has been amazing. The support makes me confident that I can do this and will eventually finish this journey with a Ph.D. Who knew?  

                  The journey to get here has been challenging. If I am honest, it has seemed almost impossible at times.  My journey makes me think of all the others, like me, who learn differently, whose brains have their own ideas of how to accomplish things or sometimes hinder that accomplishment. My research and my journey have influenced me in so many ways. They have helped me understand and relate to others like me. I met someone the other day, a young man who, in conversation, I could tell is obviously brilliant.  We were discussing school, and in a casual discussion, he mentioned his ADHD.  My immediate response was, me too, what is your fixation?  As strange as that may sound to others, he knew exactly what I meant.  He replied, “Dinosaurs, it’s always been dinosaurs.”  This led to a discussion of career/ educational paths that might be of interest and how to possibly accomplish them.

                  I find it super cool that not only did he know exactly what I was asking but that I left the conversation feeling like I had normalized ADHD a little, not just for him but for me.  This gives me hope that it can happen for so many others. When we can find the interest, the source of intrinsic meaning for a person with ADHD, it’s like turning a key and unleashing opportunity. For me, it’s my research; for the young man, I was speaking with its dinosaurs; for someone else, I know it’s fishing.  Each interest is unique and provides intrinsic meaning. When tapped into, it also provides the dopamine rush required to maintain focus, calm the brain, and achieve what many doubt is possible.  Unfortunately, this is also achieved through conflict; this is often why people with ADHD present as behavioural.  They seek the dopamine rush, and their brain needs it. Frustrated with being misunderstood, it is the only way they know how because nobody has taken the time to find out what fuels their brain with dopamine.  

                  I ask, take the time. Ask what they are passionate about and what provides them with their sense of purpose, interests, and intrinsic meaning. This conversation will build rapport and trust, create a great relationship, and allow creativity unique to neurodiverse people to be themselves and change the world as I know they can. Allow them to also land where they belong.