It has been a lot; this year has included many changes, some of which I could go along with, and others challenged me.  For those who do not know my history, I could say go back and read my previous blog posts, but that would be a jerk thing to say, and I do not think I am a jerk.  My mom always said “treat people the way you want to be treated”.  I try, I do, but then I also create expectations that others will reciprocate, which they rarely do, and I get my feelings hurt.  That’s another thing I have noticed lately; I am so sensitive.  My feelings are always getting hurt.  

Anyways, back to the history.  How did I get here? I have a childhood ADHD diagnosis, which made the education system a living hell for me.  My childhood, I was the walking textbook case of few to no friends, nonstop bullying, academic challenges resulting in a failed grade and multiple high schools, accompanied by engagement in risky behaviour and eventually graduation from high school at 22 and university the first time at 27 years old.  I met a great guy, settled down and had a family, which is my greatest accomplishment.  They are incredible and my whole world. Despite this, I was still restless and easily bored, moving from career to career.  The pandemic hit, I had a mid-life crisis, and I returned to school to upgrade my obsolete three-year BA and realize I was smart for the first time.  It was wild; I made the Dean’s list and felt like an impostor. I got talked into applying for my Master’s, did that, and here we are as I work towards my PhD. This journey, filled with ups and downs, is a testament to my ADHD fixation and the resilience we all have within us.  

I have learned so much about myself over the past few years. I understand myself more.  My research is on ADHD.  I read and struggle when I see myself reflected in the literature. It causes me to feel anger and a sense of relief all at the same time.  The hardest part is the deficit focus, the medicalization of human behaviours that are really not that far outside of the ideal normal person, whatever that is. Understanding where my quirks come from has been freeing.  I have finally learnt how my brain works, what I need to do to succeed, and how to help others. This journey of self-discovery is a powerful tool we all have at our disposal.  I’m not sure how I’m going to get the word out; people do not want to publish about ADHD.  PhD student or not, it’s not seen as important, so until a celebrity is impacted, and it is deemed an issue that warrants publishing, I will continue to blog and try to find conferences to speak at.  I emailed the school board and offered a PD Day presentation, but they do not feel it’s needed.  At least that’s my assumption based on their not taking the time to respond to my email. What I can tell you is that as a university Teaching Assistant I share my diagnosis and quirks the first day of seminar and every time I do I have at least a few students approach me after class to thank me for normalizing their experiences and showing that they can make it through post-secondary despite those who told them they could not because of their ADHD.  For now, I can find solace in the fact that these are the individuals I can help. But my ultimate goal is to reach a larger audience and help the growing population of individuals with an ADHD diagnosis. The question remains; How? Any suggestions?