I am trying to organize my thoughts and give this whole blog some context.
It has been a journey that, of course, was triggered in part by the pandemic. I
have worked in various social service areas over the past twenty-five years but
have been self-employed for the past seven, and during the pandemic, my 50th
birthday sent me into a minor mid-life crisis. Did I want to be self-employed
forever? A Google search for alternative employment revealed that my education
was obsolete. A three-year degree in sociology is not the same as in 1998. With
the support of my family, and after convincing the school I was now a different
student than I was at 20, I returned to upgrade to a fourth-year honours
degree. By the way, I made the Dean’s List (right? Who knew?). I have a life partner who saw how this journey ignited my passion for learning, and he convinced me to
apply to graduate school. For which I am eternally grateful. Funny how those closest to us often see in us what we cannot see ourselves. 

This new educational experience has snowballed. I applied and was accepted into the Masters’s program, where it all came together. What an incredible experience, and it has changed everything. I found a new confidence, and it turns out I am very smart…Almost done with my master’s, I have an 84% average. I am contemplating my next move, another master’s or do I bite the bullet and apply to a Ph.D. program. I am at a crossroads because my voice, although based upon life experience, only carries the weight I want it to with the proper credentials.  

For the record, I am a person who believes everything happens for a reason;
it is the only way to explain all the crappy stuff that has happened over the
years. Understanding the cause is not always immediate; sometimes, it may never
be understood. Makes sense may not be the right words, but self-reflection occurred through one of my most unexpected decisions. I started to understand
myself and how my ADHD has significantly impacted my life experiences. This
happened while I ran an undergraduate seminar while completing my master’s in
critical sociology. The moment of clarity regarding my research came while TA-ing a second-year class, the moment it all made sense.

As a TA, I often share my ADHD diagnosis and tell a funny story about a life experience that culminates with telling them that if I go off a tangent, someone can say “focus,” and I will not be offended but likely thankful. After the first seminar, five students approached me and thanked me. Like the stories of these students, bullying failed grades, the lack of friendship and the feeling of being an outcast are often the words used to describe the academic career of someone with ADHD. They all expressed gratitude for my sharing and helping to normalize their educational life experiences. This was the start of my advocacy when my research took on another meaning when I decided to share my voice to help others.

I expect this blog will jump around… I have also come to understand that I do not think linearly, which is often reflected in my writing.   However, I can better express myself when the subject has intrinsic meaning.